Every child deserves a loving family that is ready to support him/her become the person that s/he wants to be.
But there are some children who are not as lucky as others and are not in such ideal family setting. By some horrible turn of events, the parent sometimes becomes the perpetrator of abuse.
Such was the fate that had befallen Shiela (not her real name) when she was just 11 years old.
Shiela, who is now 16 years old, lived normally and happily with her family in Concepcion, Iloilo.
“Palagi po kaming nag-uusap, nagkukuwentuhan, nagkukulitan at patuloy na nagmamahalan at nagtutulungan (We used to talk a lot as a family. We exchanged stories, played, and took every opportunity to show our love and care for one another),” Shiela vividly recalled.
Shiela thought her family situation was very ideal as they were not experiencing major problems. Until one day, she was sexually abused by her own father.
“Sinubukan ko pong lumaban ngunit hindi ko siya nakayanan dahil na rin po sa pananakot niyang papatayin niya ang nanay at mga kuya ko (I tried to fight back but I did not succeed because he threatened that he would kill my mother and my brothers),” Shiela recounted.
What was worse than Shiela’s ordeal was the fact that nobody believed her when she told her mother and relatives about the incident.
“Masakit po dahil wala man lang naniwala sa akin kahit isa lang (It was painful that no one believed me, not even one),” Shiela lamented.
Four years of anguish
This caused Shiela to rebel. She cut her classes and engaged in all forms of vices like smoking and drinking alcohol.
She was also afraid to go home because she knew that her father would continue to abuse her.
“Kung minsan, gabi na akong umuwi at kung minsan hindi na nga ako umuuwi. Doon ako natutulog sa barkada ko (Sometimes I go home really late or I don’t go home at all. Other times, I just sleep over at my friend’s house),” she continued.
During this period, Shiela shared that she lost her self-worth and dignity.
“Wala na akong kuwentang tao. Nawalan na rin ako ng pag-asa at tiwala sa sarili. Maski sa Diyos, wala na rin akong tiwala noon (I felt worthless. I lost hope and confidence. I also lost my faith in God),” Shiela said.
It took Shiela four years to find someone who is willing to listen and believe her story – her Filipino teacher.
Report abuse
Shiela’s teacher also helped her start the process of seeking justice by reporting the incident to the Philippine National Police (PNP)-Women’s Desk.
Her teacher also contacted her aunt in Iloilo City, as her own family members did not believe Shiela.
“Ang hirap po pala ‘pag wala kang makakapitan na kamag-anak. Pero salamat po sa aking guro dahil tinawagan niya ang aking tiyahin na nakatira sa Iloilo City at sinabi ang nangyari sa akin (It was difficult as I had no one in my family to run to. That is why I am thankful to my teacher for contacting my aunt in Iloilo City to help me),” Shiela narrated.
Her aunt helped her file a case against her father, who denied the accusation and fled away.
To protect Shiela from further harassment, the social worker handling her case decided to bring her to the Home for Girls, a center run by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) for abused children that is located in Iloilo City.
Hope springs anew
For Shiela, the Home for Girls became more than just another home. It gave her hope and a new chance in life.
“Naging pag-asa ko ang Center ng DSWD dahil ito ang nagbigay-daan ng aking pagbabago (The Center was my source of hope as it paved the way for the positive change in me and in my life),” Shiela said.
At the center, she continues to undergo counseling sessions, as well as therapeutic and restorative activities to help her recover from her traumatic experience.
To have a semblance of normal life, Shiela is also being provided with homelife services, such as giving her daily chores and work assignments according to her capability and interest.
Likewise, to keep herself busy, she actively participates in various events such as family day, and sports and spiritual activities, which are all significant to her healing process.
She is also given skills training to equip her with basic livelihood skills, which she can use once she returns to the community.
“Dahil po sa mga programa dito sa center, unti-unti ko nang natanggap ang pinagdaanan ko. Unti-unti rin pong lumawak ang isip ko. Natutunan ko pong may pag-asa pa at ang mahalaga ay nanumbalik ang tiwala ko sa Diyos (Because of the programs in the Center, I was able to accept what I have gone through. Little by little, my mind as widI learned that there is still hope, that I still have my self-worth and most importantly, I found my faith once again),” she said.
Her experience under the care of social workers at the center has inspired her to become like them.
“Gusto ko rin maging isang social worker para matulungan ko rin ang mga kabataang nakakaranas ngayon ng pang-aabuso (I want to become a social worker to help abused children),” she quipped.
Shiela also has a reminder to other young victims of abuse.
“Huwag kayong matakot magsumbong, tanggalin ang kaba at magsumbong nang maaga. Siguradong may tutulong sa inyo (Do not be afraid to seek help, do not fear, and do it early. There will always be someone to help you),” she said.
To date, the Centre for Girls in Iloilo is catering to 23 children who are victims of various forms of abuse.
Other DSWD Home for Girls can be found in Regions I, III. IV-A, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XII and CARAGA. In the National Capital Region, the center is called Marillac Hills.
As of February 2016, some 701 girls are being served in the said centers, 186 of whom are victims of incest, while 163 are victims of rape. ###
